often, i felt like leaving everything behind and just fade away. left nothing not even a memory. often, i wish i wasn't human. i wish i was only a particle, floating in the air, with no purposes, doing nothing. colliding with other particles and bonding without any romantic feeling or any such. isn't that just great? i wanted life to be a little less difficult. i wanted me to become less miserable, less pathetic. i wanted everything to be just fine. but you cant always have what u want right?
i got a hole in my heart that cannot be fill with regular happiness. sigh..